From now on I think the goal will be to write every Monday, this way I can create some constant in my hectic schedule...maybe for our hectic schedules.
I went to lunch today with a Best Friend. I Love her. Not just because we have a history of being friends or because we are in the same place but because she really is a great friend. I am lucky enough to have a lot of those. Really Great Friends.
For a good portion of my time in the past 5 months or so i've been increasingly negative and easily upset. Yuck. I hate being that person. The hard part was that I recognized it and still couldn't stop it.
I was stressing out over life...
What to do next?
Why can't things just work out?
How can I be different?
What do I want?
Blah Blah Blah.....
My friend pointed out to me that it's weird that I am being down on myself because usually I tended to be optimlistic and full of hope. I loved hearing that my normal self reseambled the person that I want to be, but bummed out that I wasn't being myself currently. But that is what I was struggling with...Hope. Life is really hard without it.
How could I, a normally optimistic person, be stripped of my Hope?
But more importantly, How do I get it back?
Hope is a belief that things are possible? So to restore my belief in my lifes possibilities i had to do a couple of things:
1)Take away the "Justs" and "Onlys"
I am just a student, just a housewife, just a girl. I am only surviving, the only one in my position, the only one.
Open up your eyes and be honest. Because we are never alone and we play many important roles. I am a Girl, I am a Student, I am a Sister, I am a Daughter, I am a Teacher, I am a Counselor, I am an Athlete, I am a Friend, I am. And we are never alone there are others who are experiencing similar joys and trials. We are not alone.
2)Be Present
Although I spend a lot of time planning for the future I needed to remind myself that there are important things that I can be doing here and now. Pay attention to the people around you and the place you live in and try to make it better for others, if you do you will magically make it better for yourself as well, and that reminds you that things are possible.
3) Say Thanks (obvious)
But really how often are we always looking over the hill and far away at things we want but don't have yet. Want what you have and you will be satisfied. If you arn't grateful go back to number 2. When we are grateful for what we have we remember that we hoped for it once and now we have it. We don't hope for things in vain.
4) Walk a mile in new shoes
It's amazing how when we start doing things we have never done before how quickly our perspective adjusts and changes. How quickly our attitude adjusts and changes toward those new shoes. Belief and hope are things we want but can't always see, meaning we don't know how to get there. We won't ever know until we increase our understanding by gaining new experiences.
I have a renewed sense of hope!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Friends
I don't spend enough time creating. I want to be more involved in adding life to life. I love thinking about the thought behind the products that people produce. The detail and time spent making the eclectic unique trinkets that can be collected over a lifetime. Things like a tiny wire mexican skeleton statue or knitted sea creature ornaments. I wonder if these things were preconcieved or if they just evolved. If their makers had a specific purpose for them or if art, the pure inspiration to create, was taken and auctioned off after the realization of their value. 
I guess it doesn't really matter except that people keep doing it. It is so refreshing to have an idea and see it begin to take shape. We create to see the fruits of our labour, to witness our inner thoughts materialize and express themselves, to have something to inspire thought in others. Art is beautiful not because it looks great, but because it's original, it's personal, and it's new. It's inspiring because of the time and thought put in it, and because it creates hope in things that arn't typically seen.
